El Salvador: you broke my heart

Submitted by Kevin M. Cross on December 13, 2007 - 12:24am.

This past summer I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to El Salvador with my parish, The Church of St. Andrew in Marblehead, MA. While in El Salvador we met a woman, Marta, at her small farm in Ciadad Romero. We met over a meal of potatoes and plain spaghetti. Marta told us about her life during that simple meal. A life filled with more challenges and adventures than anyone I have known. Her story is the story of modern day El Salvador.

During the civil war in El Salvador from 1982 – 1992 Marta had to flee from the country for her own safety. She traveled to Panama while her husband stayed behind in El Salvador to fight for their home and freedom. In Panama, Marta lived for a while in a home built on stilts over the water. She lived there that is, until a hurricane came through and tore her home apart. Only sticks remained where her home once stood. She didn’t have any family in the area with whom to stay so she decided to leave this destruction behind and move on to Honduras. She had heard that there would be work available in Honduras. She booked passage on a boat to take her there. During that voyage, the boat she sailed on sank in the middle of the night. Marta swam and floated for hours praying to be rescued. She had faith that she would be saved, in spite of the sharks that constantly circled her through that long night. Marta was picked up by a rescue boat the next morning.

Undeterred and with no other options, she continued on with her plan to establish a new life in Honduras. Monsoon rains of historic proportions swept in shortly after she arrived. Marta resolved to stay and do what she could to make a living, in spite of having to slog through mud that often was up to her thighs on a daily basis. Eventually peace was declared in El Salvador, the government forces had worn down the resistance fighters. Despite a future that would be hard under a government that did not seem to care for its people, Marta eagerly returned home to find her husband. She dreamed of re-establishing their farm and starting a family. Although she found her husband, their home had been reduced to rubble as a result of the war. Even worse she found out that her two brothers had been brutally executed by the government forces.

Marta and her husband started a family and they began to eek out an existence on a small farm in Ciadad Romero. Life was hard due to an unending series of droughts and floods that ruined their crops, but they carried on. Marta gave birth to four sons and two daughters. Her sons have grown up to be strong, young men of whom she is very proud. Unfortunately with no work for them in El Salvador they had to go elsewhere. They now live as undocumented workers in the United States. They send money home whenever they can to help Marta raise their two sisters and two cousins. Marta knows that it is unlikely she will ever see her sons again. While relating her story to me, Marta was alternately teary and smiling. Overall she feels that life has been okay for her. She is very thankful for her life and her family. She prays to God each day. We said a prayer of thanksgiving before we left.

You may wonder as I did, how was Marta able to maintain her faith in Jesus Christ through all of the trials and suffering she endured. We all know that at times in our own lives it is hard to find, let alone maintain faith even if it is faith only the size of a mustard seed At the times when we have faith and hope, we often wonder if things will get better but look for the outcome to be we want and expect. Some times it happens that way but sometimes it does not. These can be trying times for all of us. Indeed they are and always have been. But Marta taught me no matter how difficult the times may be, God is with us - always. We, like Marta, need to have just enough faith.

St. Andrew’s has been in a relationship with the parish of San Andre Apostel since the early 90’s. During this visit we worked on projects improving school buildings and resources and began work on a new chapel in San Juan Letran using sledge hammers and axes in humid 90 degree heat. In addition, we attended numerous educational meetings with community action and environmental groups and met with an economist and with Episcopal Bishop Martin Barahona. However, our primary activity was to get to know the people of El Salvador and to build and strengthen relationships with our brothers and sisters at San Andres. Any illusion we may have brought with us about going to El Salvador as teachers or consultants was quickly dispelled. We became the students.

In this day and age, foreign mission work can seem like a part of the western world’s colonialist past that oppressed more than it liberated people. But, today’s mission work is different. It is about witnessing, accompanying and standing in solidarity. It is also about learning from and building deep, rich relationships with our sisters and brothers around the world as together, we strive together to create God’s kingdom here on earth. It is important for all of us to take a look at mission work from time to time. Mission work is part of the Christian commitment and has existed in the church from its earliest times. Jesus knew the apostles’ mission work would not be easy. He knew it would be met at times with fear, hatred, anger, physical threats and even assaults. Just as with the apostles, we are asked to leave our comfort zone behind and live beyond our fears. We are asked to have the courage to live and love dangerously. To love dangerously. This is the kind of mission work we commit ourselves to each time we renew our baptismal covenant. When we are asked “Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?” and “Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every ‘every’ human being?” We answer, “I will, with God’s help.” When you really think about it, what we are committing ourselves to do is not as easy as that simple answer. It is hard to keep that commitment. It requires daily vigilance and self examination. We are asked to notice and witness on behalf of justice. We may be required to take unpopular stances and perhaps even make sacrifices to our own security. Jesus clearly does not offer earthly reward and security if we follow, for he reminds us that even “the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Mission work today is one of solidarity and accompaniment, about allowing others to share their gifts and wisdom with me, about being the student, not the teacher.

During this mission trip we also visited several sites associated with the martyrs, the bishops, priests and nuns, who were executed by the government during the civil war which lasted from 1980 - 1992. These sites, and the memories they hold, are important touchstones of history and faith to the people of El Salvador. When I tried to write about it this verse emerged:

El Salvador you broke my heart

El Salvador you broke my heart.
You drew me into the tragic, collective memory of your people.
I prayed in the chapel where Saint Romero, said his last Mass.
I visited his modest dwelling,
more that of a common man, than an archbishop.
I knelt at his tomb in the unadorned basement of your great cathedral.
Even a shot through his heart could not rob you
of his compassion which still fills the hearts of your people.
Tears blinded my eyes when I saw the blood stained relics
of six young Jesuits who dared to speak the truth.
They cried out against the indiscriminate visitation of war
on your children and, for that, were executed.
Their memorial stands as a testament
to your ongoing quest for justice and truth.
Pictures of four missionary nuns haunt me.
Young, vibrant, loving faces looked back at me
without sorrow or reproach, but with love.
Their executions did not vanquish the love
you have for your poor.
Like a sunflower in full bloom their spirits live on.
Their seeds have now been planted in my heart.
El Salvador, I stood on your parched, hallowed ground and wept.

This mission trip opened me up emotionally and spiritually. I discovered that my being willing to stand in solidarity with the people of El Salvador meant more to them than any amount of goods or “knowledge” I might have to share. I discovered how much God’s people around the world have much to teach me about faith. I came back inspired by our collective ability to stand with each other on our journeys of faith.

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