The Taboo of Anger

Submitted by Greta Leach on April 21, 2007 - 8:24pm.

When we hear news of heartbreak, tragedy, despair, untimely deaths and senseless acts of violence how should we respond? Ministry folks are supposed to be the doves, the lambs, right? We pray, we mourn, and we sit with the victims and that is appropriate. We speak exhortations of hope and mercy and we try to come to terms with the senselessness of such destruction to humanity. And in doing so we become more aware of own humanity, of the beautiful creation of God within us. And if anything beautiful can come out of destruction it is that.

But for me in the midst of this contemplation of my own humanness and search for peace and truth, an “inappropriate” emotion keeps bubbling up: anger. Are ministry folks supposed to be angry about something like these recent Virginia Tech events? At our theological schools we could deconstruct the social and religious structures of that question to figure out if we have permission to feel this way, particularly if we have permission to feel angry with God. But our analysis is not particularly important to me, because regardless of what our answer would be, I am angry.

I am angry about such senseless violence to God’s precious creation. I am angry that so many bright children of God had their lives snuffed out so early. I am angry that one of those bright, young persons was in so much pain and so disturbed that he took the lives of 33 people, including himself.

I am angry at the media, oh, Lord, the bloodthirsty media, and the way they glamorize and exploit such an event. I am angry that TV cameras are in the faces of mourners. I am angry that the young killer’s videos are out for all to see. I am angry at the language we use to talk about this “massacre”. I am angry at the dishonor shown to the victims and their families.

I am angry that we are so quick to point fingers in all directions. I am angry that we cannot just sit with the pain. I am angry that we search to find words and explanations when maybe we should just be silent.

I am angry that this event happened at a place of peace, an academic institution of learning. I am angry that these lives lost somehow seem different – dare I say more important – to us as Americans than lives lost in other places everyday because of war, poverty, disease, and the list goes on.

And sometimes I am even angry at God.

And that’s ok. My question is not whether or not it is ok to feel anger. My question is how do we use our anger? Anger can be a great creative force for good. Our creativity can lead us to become more human, more capable of those great and wonderful things God intended us for, those beautiful lessons Jesus taught.

Five months ago another disturbed child of God walked into an Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania and killed five girls and himself. I do not know how the girls’ families felt, but I imagine anger might have been on the list of emotions. Whatever emotions they felt, they drew on their faith and responded in an absolutely creative and radical way: forgiveness and love toward the killer’s family. I believe there is a lesson for us to be learned there: emotions (even anger) and faith with creativity can help fuel a mighty spiritual awakening of healing, love, and peace like this world has rarely seen.

Greta Leach is an accountant by day and by night she's an M.Div. student at Iliff School of Theology, Denver, CO.

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